Clusterf*ck

The silent cries
That escape my mind
I feel so trapped and tortured
I've become my worst enemy
Put-downs, hate, violence
I direct it all at myself
The cuts, the pills,
The poison I feed myself
I am misunderstood
And completely alone
In this crowded room
No one can hear my cries
I whisper them silently through my mind
I show a stone cold appearance
No one sees through my mask
Not unless I let them
And no one can get that close to me
I won't let them
I'm lying through my teeth again
No one can see me cry
I am truly the epitmy of left overs
I get what no one else wants anymore
Used, abused, confused
I cut everyone out
No one can see me cry
I'm such a mess over this
I am at the brink of my own destruction
If I choose to kill myself,
I'll do it far away from here
No one can see me cry
I won't let them
Especially when I die